Good.... No! Great things finally found me!

I can't say that I ever thought a New Year would start out as great as mine has. 28 years and I can finally say that.





I've found someone... He's everything i've ever looked for in a man and nothing like I ever expected. He makes me smile. He makes me whole. Everything just seems so right and that part scares the shit out of me. I just keep expecting something to blow up in my face. But I refuse to let that happen this time because of my stupidity. I've realized a few things in the past few days.. some, I won't share on here just yet. But, mainly...I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and hope that we're on the same page, taking it slow, one day/date at a time... it really hasn't been that long but, I learned to quit being scared. I honestly didn't believe there was one single man left on this planet that had values, morals, manners, a strong faith, honestly, I could go on.. but I won't. He's just.... amazing. When we're together, it feels like it's been that way for a while.. That gives me great hope.. So, since the 2nd of January, I've been walking on clouds higher than cloud 9... and i've had a permanent smile that hasn't gone away and I pray to God that it never does.







For my family:

I've been watching my sweet nephew grow up these past few weeks through videos and pictures, and I must say... This is hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with. I miss Mandy, Bubba and Colin so much and I know that there isn't anything any of us can do about it, and i'm okay with that. I just want to squeeze him and watch him grow... closer.. Haha..





Colin, always remember, Aunt Hannah loves you with every ounce of her heart. Everyday, I think about you and pray for you. We love you all and miss you more and more as each day passes. But, we're all staying stong and know that you'll be home eventually. And any time spent with ya'll, is better than no time at all. I love you, punkin, and I always will. MUAH

Love, Aunt Hannah

Timing is everything, it seems.

Today, I ran across two awesome quotes that seemed to slap me in the face.

"Faith in God includes faith in His timing"

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"...

Ouch.


I always thought that by now, I'd be married to a wonderful man, and maybe have a child of my own. But maybe; because I want it so badly, it's eluding me. Patience is not a friend of mine. And, my faith feels flawed more and more, everyday. I see all kinds of people fall in and out of love all the time. People who go from relationship to relationship and people who find the love of their life at the drop of a dime. So, what's wrong with me? This is the question I ask over and over to myself. I'm a nice person, I know i'm not a beauty queen but, I know I'm pretty. I'm a good person, and I do everything in my power to help others. So why do I get over looked? Did I do something wrong in my past? Am I being punished for something?

It's hard to give up on something that you want so badly. But I suppose that I need to work on this and see where it takes me. I suppose acceptance is key. So I need to accept the things I cannot change and deal with what's in front of me. Life is too short to worry about selfish things but, it's a difficult thing to overcome. I guess I need to figure out a way.

Until next time....

Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli

K-Love is the most amazing radio station. Yesterday as I was driving along the backroads, listening to awesome praise music, having my own little quiet time as I was driving... I realized how much this song means to me... Even when we don't love ourselves, God still loves us... No matter what... Even though we don't think we're "good enough". He does... and that's all that matters.





Beautiful by Francesca Battistelli


Don't know how it is You looked at me
And saw the person that I could be
Awakening my heart
Breaking through the dark
Suddenly your Grace


Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, Beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, Beautiful



Now there's a joy inside that I can't contain
But even perfect days can end in rain
And though it's pouring down
I see You through the clouds
Shining on my face



Like sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, Beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, Beautiful


I have come undone
But I have just begun
Changing by Your Grace


Like Sunlight burning at midnight
Making my life something so
Beautiful, Beautiful
Mercy reaching to save me
All that I need
You are so
Beautiful, Beautiful